Updated info:
Ok, so I'm not some young Goth girl like in my avatars, and obviously, unless I'm channeling a spirit or something, I'm not a specter or ghost. I'm presently 67 years of age. I have Bipolar l and have recently been diagnosed with Cervical Dystonia. I'm not a published author but I like to write. For a 10th grade dropout with only a GED I reckon I don't do too bad. Learning difficulties such as mild Dyslexia held me back in school and during the ensuing adulthood years. I held mostly factory and cleaning jobs. I've been a quitter but I'm not a quitter. I'm a survivor! I survived several suicide attempts years ago, not even ending up in the hospital, because obviously, a part of me wasn't ready to give up so it kept me from making a serious enough attempt to end my own life. Although I must admit, the man I lived with during 2 of the attempts should have taken me to the hospital and didn't. The second attempt was an overdose of Lithium and I couldn't see well for a couple days afterward.
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About the Cervical Dystonia, it's a neurological disorder which stems from the same part of the brain as Parkinson's Disease. It's an aftereffect of an anti-psychotic medicine I was given years ago during a major manic episode where I was delusional and in and out of touch with reality. I was concerned that a brain tumor or something was causing the sometimes painful spasms that grab my neck muscles and cause my head to 'wag'. The 'wagging' is worse when my head is tilted down or has been tilted down for awhile. At the moment, despite my taking my meds this morning, my head is 'wagging' almost as quickly as a happy dog's tail. Makes blogging a bit difficult but not impossible.
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I hadn't seen a family doctor in years when the dystonia started. I even avoided going to my mental health clinic because at first I thought something was wrong with my neck discs. I have scoliosis (curvature of the spine), and my back bothers me a lot. The wagging hadn't began yet, at first my head just kept swiveling to the left and I was afraid of having a long recovery time after an operation. As the condition worsened I started searching for answers on the Internet and accidentally came across the answer on YouTube. During a search on YT I misspelled a word and a list of videos popped up. There was a man who had Cervical Dystonia. Never had heard of it so clicked on the link and BAM, there was a man who's head wagged exactly the same as mine. Back to Google search I went and quickly found out that I had an incurable neurological disorder. Was overjoyed to find out what I had, not so happy about the no cure part.
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The neck spasms go on while you are awake, they stop during sleep. Trick is, relaxing long enough to fall asleep. Hard to do while your head is thrashing back and forth on the pillow. Had to switch to sleeping mostly on my right side to keep my face from constantly jamming into the pillows. (If you're picturing the possessed girl, Linda Blair, in the movie The Exorcist you're wrong, the spasms don't twist my head as far as hers did and I don't puke up stuff that looks like pea soup. LOL) Meds help me to relax but if I wake up to make a bathroom trip and stay awake too long the spasms start again and I'm down, or rather up, for the count. At their worse, several months ago, I had an extremely difficult time being able to read very much on my cell phone (which I primarily use for surfing the Internet or going on YouTube and Facebook). It was even hard to read and type while at my PC. Reading on my tablet was hard, I even had to quit playing my favorite word game for awhile. The head wagging messed up my balance, I had to learn to walk slower and much more carefully at first. After seeing another video where a man with Cervical Dystonia was dancing again after going through a tough type of physical therapy I began doing my own exercises while dancing in place. It actually helped, had to quit for awhile though, can't afford to run an air conditioner or even to have my old house rewired to handle the wattage output so even with the ceiling fan running constantly it gets kind of hot in my house. I sweat a lot which in turn causes my potassium to drop so I 'cooled it' and took it easy for a couple weeks.
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I've had other health problems too, emphysema from the years I smoked, and, recently, vitamin deficiencies from not eating a balanced diet. Your body is like a car, if you don't keep up the maintenance it will eventually break down on you. Maintaining a nutritional diet, or supplementing a not so good diet, will help to keep you going. I watch Dr. Berg and other nutritionists on YouTube. I know how to eat right, I just can't afford to financially. I have debts, and house cats and feral cats I feed. Bills first, cats 2nd and me last. That's been my life for quite a few years. Now that the doctors know what vitamins I was deficient in they were able to tell me what supplements to take. When I can afford to buy Kefir I drink it, it's loaded with probiotics.
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Other than writing I enjoy doing paper crafts and painting with acrylics, watching Pluto Channel on TV, listening to different types of music, dancercising (dancing and exercising at the same time), playing with my indoor cats, talking to all the cats, watching videos on YouTube, visiting friends on Facebook, spending time with real time friends, reading a variety of articles on the Internet, and many other activities. I'm a homebody who is most comfortable hanging out in her own haunt, I mean, home. ;)
My favorite song at the moment, I instantly identified with the lyrics and love the beat/tempo.
